Parenting from afar: parental arrangements after migration: the Angola/portugal case

Mobility

and

Family

in Transnational

Space

Ediredby

l|if'arzía

Gras

si and

T

atiana

Ferreira

Cambridge

Scholars

Publishing

Mobitity and Family in Transnational Space Ediled by Marzia Grassi and Tatiana Ferrei¡a

This book first published 2016 Cambridge Scholars Pubiishing

Lady Stephenson Library, Newcastle upon Tlme' NE6 ZPA, UK

TRgI-E,

OF

CONTENTS

List of Tables and Figures IX

British Library Catalogtring in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Acknowledgements x1

Copyright @ 2016 by Marzia Grassi, Tatiana Ferreira and contributors

A-1I rights for this book ¡eserved. No part of this book may be reproduced,

stored in a retrieval system, or t¡ansmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanicaì, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without

the prior permission ofthe copyright owner.

List of

Abbreviations...

...

xlll

Introduction

.'...1

Marzia Grassi

Part

I:

Mobility and

couple relationships ISBN (10): 1-4438-8601-7

ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-8601-7 ₁

Transnationalism and Conjugality: The Angola/Portugal Case

Marzia Grassi

Chapter Two

3I

Illegalization and Social Inequality in the Regulation of Marriage

and Migration Control in Portugal

M ar ianna B ac c

i

T amb

urlini

Chapter Three... 55

Day to Day

Life

of Transnational Couples

Tatiana Ferreira

79

Marriage and Migration in Portugal: Exploring Trends and Patterns

of Divorce in Exogamous and Endogamous Couples

Ana Cristina Femeira, Madalena Ramos and Sofiø Gaspar

Part

II:

Kinship

and care

Chapter Five ...

Transnational Mothers and Development: Experiences of Salvadoran

Migrants in the United States Leisy J. Abrego

VI Table of Contents

Chapter

Six...

...'...

ll7

Intergenerational Solidarity in Transnational Space:

The Case of Etderly Parents Left Behind in Lithuania

M ar g ar ita Ge dvíIait è - Ko rdusiené

Chapter

Seven...

...'...141 Parenting from afar: Parental Arrangements After

Migration-The AngolaÆortugal Case Luena Marinho

chapter

Eight...

... 161

Migrations, Vy'omen and Kinship Networks in the Western Indian Ocean:

A

Comparative Perspective

Francesca Declich

Part

III:

Gender and generations across borders

Chapter

Nine...

...'...'...179

Veracruz Migrants Travelling North: Transnationalism from Intemal

and International Migrations in Mexico

Blanca

D.

Vásquez Delgado

Chapter

Ten...

..'...'... 199 Courageous Vy'omen Crossing the Eastern Border between Mexico

and the United States Teresa Cuevq-Luna

Chapter

Eleven

....217

A

Gender Approach in Brain Drain: The New Labor Precariousness

of Highly Skilled Portuguese Women

Maríø de Lourdes Machado-Taylor, Rui Gomes, João Teixeíra Lopes,

Luísa Cerdeira and Henrique Vaz

Chapter

Twelve

...'...231

A

Metaphorical Representation of the Children of Cape Verdean

Immigrants' Transition to Adulthood: An Analysis of the Plot Structure

and Character Constellation in the Feature Film Até Ver a Luz (2013)

Rosemarie Albrecht

Mobility and Family in Transnational Space vll

Chapter

Thirteen..'....

""""""""

251

The Individualization of Kinship Ties in a Transnational Context:

Bahian-Capoeira Collectivities and Afro-Venezuelan Religious Groups

Ro ger Canals and Theodora Lefkaditou

Contributors.

""""

271

Cuaprnn

Ss,vBN

PRNBNUNG

FROTU

APER:

PNNNXTNT ANNENGEMENTS

Arrpn

MtcneuoN-TuB

ANcola/Ponrucnr

Ces¡'

Lupxe

MaRnqHo'

I

Doctoral candidate inSociologY at the Institute of Social Sciences, University

of

Lisbon, Portuguese Foundation forScience and Technology (FCT-Fundação para

Introduction

Transnational

families are

not

a

new

phenomenon' Research on

transnational

family r,u",

t"r

led

to

a growing body

of

empirical.studies

il-,*;;*".

cio¡uri"uti* and'iformation

and

Communications

Technology

(fCO

trave

îreated

conditions that help families survive the

geographical distance,

t,"Vittg

con1l9led'.

This is

focused

mainly

on the

impacts

of'

transnatto;l';;y

of

life

_-in

migrant

mothers and, their

interaction

witt

tttos"

iel

úehin¿,

while

fathering

practices during

,iËrãri*

rr"ve received less attention. Despite the efforts made by parents

to

ease

the

geograpniJ-t"putution' often there are

changes

in

the relationship between parents and

children'

such as

the

loss

of

parental

uliflotity oi

the weakening of emotiona.l bonds'

The

aim

of

this

cirap"ter

is to

analyze

how

the relationship between

p;;;;

aná ctritdren is ahected by the migratory project' a10 atlo

_i-{;1tiÛ

what practices are carried out by migrant parents to exercise parenting at distance.

The

original

data upon which.this-chapter was

built

come

from

the

fieldwork carried

"",

*'oái

the project places and belongings:

coniugality

between Angola

,r¿

i,-"inià¿'wtrictr

aims

to

comprehend the effects

of

142 Chapter Seven

mobility on

conjugality and

family life,

and how the (re)constructing

_of

"home" is made by the migrant, favoring the male point of view.

Starting

with

a

brief

overview

of

the migratory context

between

Angola and

Porhrgal,

followed

by

a

description

of

the

methodology

adopted, this chapter focuses on migrant parents' narratives regarding their parenting practices and the effects of distance in the relationship

with

their

children.

In

order to perceive how parenting from a distance is exercised

and

managed,

this topic

of

the interviews

sought

to

assess

how

the

decisions regarding

the

children

were

organized,

the

perception

of

the

impact of distance on parental authority, the impact of distance on creating conflicts, and the existence ofsupport in caring for children.

The

analysis

of

the

interviews reveals

that

transnational parenting

practices are based on communication,

with

ICT having an important role

in

the lives

of

migrants and

in which

fathers interviewed seem

to

suffer

emotionally due to the separation from their families.

This article contributes to the study oftransnational parenting practices

and the adaptation

to

the new

family

roles imposed

by

the transnational

life

style, highlighting paternal involvement and questioning the concept

of masculinity.

Migration

between

Angola

and

Portugal

Past and Present

Migrations between

Angola

and Portugal have

a

specific character,

which

is

grounded

on

long-standing relationships between

the

two

countries, marked

by

oppression and colonialism. The Porhrguese arrived

in

Angola at the end

of

the hfteenth century, and there was a progressive

assimilation that

led Angola

to

the

category

of

overseas colony

of

the

Portuguese Empire. Relations between Portugal and Angola were guided

mainly by trade (slave trade and later,

with

the prohibition of trafhcking,

various products such as coffee, sugar cane, sisal,

iron)

and also cultural

exchanges, although the condition

ofPortugal

as colonizing country tends

to have a forceful character.

Following the independence of several other African countries, Angola

initiated

a

liberation

war. This war, known

among Portuguese

as

the

colonial war,

extended

from

1961

to

1974. The

fall of

the

Portuguese

political regime provided

the

Angolan

independence.

Angola

would

become an independent country, recovering its sovereignty on November

ll,

1975.

V/ith

the independence

of

the country, a

civil

war began that lasted2T years, ending Ln2002. The

civil

war in Angola was a struggle

for

power between the two main liberation movements Popular Movement

of

Parenting from Afar: Parental _{Arrangements After}

_Migration

143

Liberation

of

Angola (MPLA-Movimento Popular de Libertação

de

Angola-) and National Union

for

the Total

Independence

of

Angola

pNITA-União

Nacional

paro

a Independência Total de Angola)

of

the country.

It

was divided

into

three periods

of major

combat-1975-1991 ,

1992-1994, and 1998-2002, interspersed with periods oftenuous peace.

Angolan migration

to

Portugal began

in the

16th century. Over time

the

flow

experienced periods

of

greater intensity.

According

to

Grassi

(2010),

in

the 20th

century the

main

periods

of

Angolan migration to

Portugal were in the 1960s with the amival of a small group of students; in

the

period following

the

fall

of

the

Portuguese

dictatorial

regime 0974175), when there was a retum

of

Portuguese

living in

Angola and Angolans also. In the 1980s following the repression

of

the political coup

of

lhe 27th

May

1977,

a

considerable nurnber

of

Angolans

went

to

Portugal.

Later

in

the

late

1990s

and

in

the early 21st

century, the

intensif,rcation of the

civil

war in Angola led many Angolans to migrate to Portugal, some to settle, and others to move on to other destinations. The

connection

to

Portugal,

the

common language

and

some

cultural

proximity,

made Portugal

the

chosen destination

for

many

Angolans seeking

to

escape

the

armed

conflict

or

looking

for

a

better

life

and opportunities.

Porfuguese migration to Angola begins

in

the 1930s, motivated by the

colonies settlement

policy. According

to

Claudia

Castelo

(2007),

the

policy

developed

by

the

State

to

settle

the

colonies

with

motherland citizens sought to maintain and enforce sovereignty over these tenitories.

The author states

that

the

policy

was developed

in

two

stages:

a

first

moment,

initially

planned

by

the State; the second moment,

from

1929

(global crisis)

until the

Second

World

War,

in which

migration

did

not

depend

only on

state intervention,

but

also

the individual initiative

of

many Portuguese who sought better

living

conditions.

At

the same time,

the

spread

of

the

idea

of

the

colonies as

an

extension

of

Portuguese

tenitory beyond the sea facilitated the option for migration.

The collapse of the Salazar regime in Portugal and the outbreak of

civil

war

in

Angola

triggered

the retum

of

many

Portuguese

who were

in

Angola.

The

1980s and 1990s, witnessed

a

reduction

in

the volume

of

Portuguese

emigration.

Portuguese

emigration

to

Angola, given

the

political situation and the

military

conflict

in

the country, virhrally ended.

The global financial crisis

of

2008

encouraged

its

return

and

Africa

emerged again as a migratory destination, with Angola the top destination. The commitment to rebuilding the country meant that Angola undertook a

large number

of

public

works.

This

and

the

economic growth made

it

144 Chapter Seven

combined

with

a precarious and unstable economic situation

in

Portugal, led

r'any

Portuguese to migrate to Angola.

Today the situation

is

different.

We can

see

that the

number

_¡¡

Angolan migrants

in

Portugal

is

decreasing, due

to

a return

to

the hor¡s

country,

which

currently

is

economically more appealing than Portugal.

The progress

of

the Angolan economy and the economic crisis affecting

Portugal

is

encouraging Angolans

to

retum

to

their

country

of

origin.

Currently

it

appears that the number

of

Porfuguese citizens residing in

Angola is greater than the number

of

Angolans

living in

Porfugal.z There

has been an apparent reversal of the migration flow.

Ferreira and Grassi (2012) also refer to the reversal of migration flows

between Portugal and Angola. The authors analyze the migration of young

Portuguese,

noting

that

the

economic

crisis and

the high

youth

unemployment rates urge young people to leave. According to the authors

"W'e can conclude that in total 91,900 Portuguese residents in Angola are

mostly young people of working age".

Nevertheless,

according

to

Portuguese

Immigration

and

Borders

Service (SEF, ,Serviço Estrangeiros e Fronteiras),3 Angolans

still

remain

the 5th largest group

of

foreign residents

in

Portugal, representing 5,r/o

of

the foreign

population

in

the country,

and

they

are

the

second largest

group of African migrants residing in Porhrgal.

Methodology

and

Data Collection

Places

and

Belongings:

Conjugality

between

Angola and

Portugal

project used a mixed methodology, using both quantitative and qualitative methods

of

data collection. For more detailed information regarding the

methodology followed, see Grassi in Chapter one of this volume.

The data presented

in this

paper result

from

the use

of

a

qualitative

multi-sited approach. Nina Glick-Schiller (2003) considers the multi-sited

ethnographic research

to

be

a

good option

for

studying transnational

migration,

in

particular

transnational

family

life.

Data collection

was

carried out

in

two contexts: Angola and Portugal, seeking to gain a better understanding of the impacts

of

migration on family members who are in

different geographical contexts.

The data were collected through semi-structured interuiews.

Regarding the sample, atotal of 27 interviews were conducted: 10 with

Portuguese parents

in Angola,

and 17

with

Angolan parents

in

Portugal.

2

Consular Data Records, stocks 2008-2014 available in

http ://www. observatorioem i g r acao.ptl np 4 I pai ses. html? id:9.

'

RIFA 201 3 (lmmigration, BorderJ and Asylum report, 201 3)

-l

I

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After

Migration

145

Also,

5

interviews

were

made

with

Porfuguese women and used as a

control grouP'

The interuiews took place

in2013 and2014.In

Angola these were in

Ltanda, and

in

Portugal were mostly

in

Lisbon, but also

in

Leiria (some,

in

the control group). Regarding the sampling method,

for

interviews in

the control group (women with immigrant husbands in Angola) the type

of

sampling used was snowball.

To

make the interviews

with

the migrants

themselves, a convenience sample was used'

Sample characteri

zation

One

of

the main

focuses

of

interest

of

the project "Places

and Belongings: Conjugality between Angola and

Portugøl" is

transnational

fatherhood,

and the

sample

was colrposed

of

male individuals with

children and who are immigrants.

In

this

sample,

migration

of

Angolans

to

Portugal

is

older

than

migration

of

Portuguese

to

Angola. The Angolan interviewed

who

had

been

in

Portugal the longest

arived in

the country

in

1988. On the other

hand, conceming the Portuguese

in

Angola,

it

was found

in

the sample that the earliest migration dates back to 2008, the year coinciding with the

worsening

of

the economic crisis

in

Portugal. Regarding the reasons for

the migration,

in

the Angolan case these were above

all

the war and the

search for better

living

conditions; while the most recent migrants come to

Portugal

with an

educational

or

training pulpose.

The

Portuguese

migration to Angola is economically driven, based on the

job

search and the high-salary

job

offers.

In relation to sending remittances to family, all Portuguese respondents

claim to send remittances; some of them say they send their entire salaries home,

living

on incomes of more informal activities. Portuguese migration

to Angola has a markedly economic character. The main reason

for

this

migration

is

the

wages offered

and the

opportunities

for

professional

growth. Sending remittances somehow

justifies

the choice

of

migration,

which allows a better quality of

life

for

family

members

in

the country

of

origin.

In

contrast, Angolan migrants send fewer remittances-usually not

at all.

Most of

the respondents who migrate

in

order

to

obtain education

(most recent migrants) are still receiving their wages in Angola, so they do

not feel the need to send remittances.

Angolan migrants usually have

more

children

than

Portuguese migrants. Angolans have between one and eight children, while Portuguese have one or h¡/o. Angolan migrant parents tend to have older children than

146 _{Chaptel Seven}

vary

between

I

and

38

years

old, while the

ages

of

the

Porhrguese

migrants' children are

between

3

and

2l

years. Regarding

the

care arrangements, children tend to be cared for by their mothers.

With

the father's migration, mothers tend

to

gain more responsibility

and decision making power.

Migration

and

Transnational Parenting

Earlier migration studies were especially interested

in

issues related to

the assimilation and labor integration of the migrant in the host country, or

in the

impact

of

remittances sent

by

migrants. Transnationalism studies appeared

in

the

early

1990s,

giving

particular attention

to

the

links

that

migrants had with their home countries (Levitt 2001;

Grillo

2001; Kivisto

2001; Smith and Guarnizo 1998; Vertovec 1999; Glick-Schiller, Basch,

and Szanton-Blanc 1992), opening

a

new perspective

_{to the}

studies on

migration

that

focused

mainly

on

the

country

of

origin

perspective

(especially

on the

impacts

of

migration and

the

effects

of

migrant

remittances).

Glick-Schiller Basch, and Szanton-Blanc (1992) consider transnationalism

to be a social process

in

which migrants establish social helds that cross

geographic, cultural, and

political

boundaries.

In their

opinion, migrants

develop and maintain

multiple

relationships:

family,

economic, social,

organizational,

religious,

and

political,

maintaining consistent

and

continuous ties.

However, interest in transnational families and individuals who remain

in

the

country

of

origin

is

more recent.

The

literature

on

transnational

families

appears

after

the year 2000

(Mazzucato

and

Schans, 2008),

emerging from the extensive literature on transnationalism. According to

Zontini (2007), transnational families are not new, and are characteristic

of

migrant labor forces of the early twentieth century, when male workers

of

some European countries migrated to the United States and Latin America,

leaving their wives and children behind. The transnational

family

results

from

the migration

of

one

or

more

elements.

The main feature of

transnational families according Bryceson and Vuorela (2002) is the fact

that they

have members scattered

in

different nation

states,

and

yet maintain a sense of unity and collective well-being. The social component

of such families is also underlined by Herrara-Lima (2001), who considers

that transnational families are leveraged by vast social networks that allow

the

flow of

transnational experience. According to this author, the family

members who are separated are united in a social space through emotional

and financial ties, keeping in touch through media and occasional physical

Parenting from Afar: Palental Arrangements After

Migration

147

ñovement between country

of origin

and the host country. The study

of

tiansnational families has given

rise

to

several .thematic approaches'

A

fror" "totto-ic

approach,

which

focuses

mainly

on the

impact.

of

renittances

on

the

household

and

on

the well-being

of

the

families

-(Carling

2002;

Guamizo 2003; Schmalzbauer 2004); another approach

ìhut

fo"ut"t

mainly

on

the

impact

of

remittances

in

the

communities

itcuUki, Mazzucato, and Dietz 2007;

Osili

2004) and the development

of

ìh" rounrry of origin of the migrants (Ratha 2003; Adams and Page 2005);

afld

aî

approach

that

leans more toward

the

analysis

of

the

effects

of

migration _-Migration on its Protagonists.

affects parenting

by

introducing changes

to

its practices.

It

pay

sometimes lead to a weakening of parental position since

it

introduces

a discontinuity

in

the performance

of

parenting. Migration has an impact

on how parents exercise their parenting and affects the relationship

with

the children. The distance and the lack of daily

life

complicity require the creation of new family dynamics and alternative ways to monitor, cherish,

and to discipline children, and this tends to

differ

according to the gender

ofthe Parent.

Usually the

family

member who migrates is the father, but given the

demand for labor,

in

areas such as care and domestic workers, the number

of

women migrating has grown

exponentially. Transnational family

studies have largely focused on impacts of migration on migrant mothers,

especially regarding

the

emotional distress,

thereby

disregarding the

impacts on the well-being of fathers'

There

is

an extensive literature on transnational motherhood (Segura

1 994 ; Hondagneu- S otelo | 9 9

4;

Alicea 1 997 ; Hondagneu- S otelo and

Avila

1997; Parreias 2001, 2005; Aranda 2003; Waters

2002;

Schmalzbauer

2004;Panado and Flippen 2005; Nicholson 2006; Falicov 2007; Gamburd 2008; Hewett 2009; Wilding and Baldassar 2009; Zonlini 2004; Boccagni

2012; Carling, Menjívar, and Schmalzbauet 2012;

Millman

2013). This

literature focuses on issues like the financial support. Studies point out that

mothers tend

to

remit more, perfotm more frequent communication, and exercise an affective monitoring that increments participation

in

the lives of children, helping to minimize feelings of guilt. The studies focus on the

geographical areas of Asia (Philippines, Sri Lanka, Thailand, etc.), Latin

America (particularly Mexico), the Caribbean, and Eastern Europe.

The literature

on

transnational fatherhood

is

less extensive and

is

a

more recent research area (Pribilsky 2004,2012; Dreby 2006; Bustamante

and Alemán 2007; Avtla 2008; Paneñas 2008; 'Waters 2010; Nobles 2011;

Leifsen and Tymczuk 2012;Harper and Martin 2012; Kilkey, Plomien and

7

t48 _{Chapter Seven}

exercise

of

parenthood

at

a

distance, exposing

different

strategies

_s¡

proximity and _{strengthening emotionar ties ãnd cãre deveroped by}

_irigrant

men who

seek

to

maintain

a

presence

within the famiìy

oãspite- trre

grcographical separation.

_It

is

worlh

mentioning

the

work

or

lìibltsty

(2004)

on

Ecuadorian migrants

in

New

york

ãnd

how they carry

out

reconfiguration

of

marital relationships,

family

life from

a distance, and

gender roles within the family; the study

of

waters (2010) on migrants

_of

Asian origin in canada _{and the challenges of becoming}

_pri-ury

_cãregivers

of their

children when their wives return

to

Asia; the study

of

paúeñas

(2008)

that

analyzed the transnational paternal

Filipino

parents, finding

that

parental practices come

into

line

with

the

trãditional patterns

of

gender (the father is the breadwinner and his function has to do more with

discipline and imposing order and authority over children, than providing

emotional support

for

children

or

establishing

a

close

affective relationship); and also the

work of

Nobles (2011), who analyzed families

in

which there was no parental co-residence (due to migration or divorce)

and found that

if

the relationship between parent and

illit¿

Ir

close, the

migration

has

a positive effect

on

incentive

for

activities and sciool

performance.

Transnational Parenting

and

Communication

Scholars

_{working on}

parenting

and

care

at

distance consider that

maintaining intimate relationships

in

transnational

families

depends on

several care practices _{that involve the circulation}

_of

_{objects, vaìues, and} persons' and also on communication. _{According to} parreñas _(2001,

_l2l),

in

transnational families the lack

of daily

interaction prevents ramitiarity

and

becomes

an

irreparable

gap

in

the

denìnitión

of

parent-child

relalionships.

The

lÌequency

_of

contact

is

very

important

io

maintain

social bonds.

New information _{and communication technologies have brought more}

ways

to

communicate, more accessible, more varied. The use

oi

mobile

phones offers new opportunities for

mobility

in time and space and social

integration

in

everyday

life,

offering

the

possibility

_ìf

direct

and

immediate interaction. The voice can convey ihe reetings and emotions.

This

technology

is

extremely

useful

in

the

case

of

migrants, since

it

facilitates their participation and allows them

to

keep

up with

the daily

routines

of

their

families. People can keep

a

sense

of

community and

continue

to

function as

families.

oiarzabal and Reips (2012) emphasize

the role

of

ICT

as

helpers

to

construct transnaiional

and

dàsporic

communities.

Parenting from Afar': Parental Arrangements After

Migration

749

Communication between couples, particularly those who are dispersed

in

the

transnational space

is

very

important. . Communication creates

proximity and allows

the

sharing

of

information and feelings,

and

facilitates

the

maintenance

of

social ties. The transnational

way

of

life

requires

a

reconfiguration

of

the

fonns

of

social

interaction.

Cornmunication through various media plays a key role for those who are

unable

to

make face

to

face interactions. Communication

in

migration

cases helps minimize the effects of what Falicov termed uprooting (which

according

to

the

author can

be

of

three types: social, cultural,

and

physical).

In our sample we notice that more recent migrants have the propensity

to

communicate

more

with

their

children/family,

often

daily. Communication between the Poftuguese migrant parents and their children

is less spaced than communication among Angolan migrant parents and

their children. For more details regarding the communication practices

of

the sample see Chapter one.

Table 7.1

_-

Frequency

of

contacts between

migrant

parents and

their

children Angolan in Portugal Twice week Once a week Monthly Sporadically Daily

Source: Grassi (2015) Research project"Places and belongings: Conjugality

between Angola and Portugal" (PTDC/AFR/1

l9l

49 12010), ICS-Ulisboa

Parents

that have older children and that have

a

longer time

of

migration tend to have a different frequency ofcontacts.

"I

neve[ had cornrnunication routines perhaps because ofhaving been here

when there was no possibility

of

having routines...we speak, we speak

regularly, we talk when we have to talk, I can speak three or four times a

day, I can, not speak fo¡ two or three days, I don't have a tight routine"

(Porluguese man living in Angola)

In terms of means used to communicate, we verified

in

our sample the

trend

for

Portuguese

migrant parents

to

use more

skype,

while

communication

of

Angolan migrant parents

with

their

children

is

preferentially over the phone:

Portuguese in Angola

Daily Every other day

Whenever can

1s0 _{Chapter Seven}

"it's always mobile phone, only by phone. She doesn't have internet there (...) we speak once a week for about one hour"

(Angolan man living in Portugal)

Apparently the Portuguese migrant parents use

a

greater

_{variety of}

means of communication.

Table 7.2

_-

Means used to communicate

with

the

family

Angolan in Portugal Telephone Potluguese in Angola Skype Facebook Viber Text messages E-mail Viber

Source: Grassi (2015) Research project"Places and belongings: Conjugality

between Angola and Portugal" (PTDC/AFR/1 1914912010),ICS-ULisboa

Portuguese migrants prefer

to

use Skype because

it

allows viewing,

thereby minimizing the distance, creating a sense of closeness through the

"virtual

presence."

It

is seen as a tool and an ally in the distance parenting,

which

helps

to

ease

the

distance. One

of

the respondents describes the

impacts of using Skype as the sense of being close.

"If

I had not seen him for, maybe, 3 or 4 months, maybe I could not stand

the way I stand, right? As I see it every day, I know he is well, know when

he...

uh, until he... sometimes on weekends he goes fishing...

I

know when he picks up a sunburn...I mean we ended up being close.',

(Portuguese wife, partner in Angola)

Sþpe

is used as a means

for

maintaining the presence, continuing to

exercise parental authority, and performing tasks

that

before migration

were made

in

person, such as

playing with

the

child,

studying, helping

with

the homework; and also

to

draw attention to the behavior.

It

allows

the migrant parent to accompany the everyday

life

of their children: ,.when

the youngest lost a tooth she showed me on Skype, so happy!" (portuguese

man

living in

Angola). Oiarzabal and Reips (2012) emphasize the role

of

ICT as helping to construct transnational and diasporic communities.

The following quotations are examples of the activities carried out via

Skype by parents and their children:

"Even games...like the hanged man we got to play on Skype (...)

I

found that my youngest was already reading and joining words together',

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After

Migration

151

"I do homework with my kids at night on Skype whenever I can' The other

day, I was studying up to 10:30 prn, 11 prn with D, math there on Skype,

we had to review all his lessons...we were there studying for about four hours"

(Portuguese rnan living in Angola)

"lt

has happened for exarnple G is doing homework and he is doing the

work with him by Skype"

(Portuguese wife, partner in Angola)

Bacigalupe and Lambe (2011) consider ICT

"anew

family member" in transnational families, a source

of

social capital, which promotes speeche

and helps create

a

sense that

the

loved ones are present.

All

this

may

include

the

exchange

of

messages between

mobile

phones, creating a

sense ofconstant presence and transnational care.

Even though

new

technologies

bring

many advantages and provide

greater

proximity,

or

the

maintenance

of

transnational social networks

lWitAing 2006),

to

some individuals

it

is

not

enough.

One

of

the

Portuguese interviewees saYs :

"Today we have Skype, we have the Messenger, we have the phone, that's

all

very pretty, but

it

doesn't work, because you being on a computer screen is not the same as being there '.. You are not present there' and those daily hours, you create the habit ofbeing here one hour, but an hour on the computer the kids are distracted seeing caftoons, she's distracted because she has to go make dinner for the kids (...) and if you are at home you are there, present, and really being here even being able

to

use

technologies to bring you closer, I think it does not help much, it is good to relieve the longing, but no"

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

Effects

of the Distance

Distance affects parents and children,

modi$ing

the existing family

dynamics.

In

the sample parents repod

at

an earlier stage

of

migration

fèelings

of

loneliness, depression, and

lack

of

emotional contact

with

family

and friends.

In

relation

to their

children, the distance sometimes

makes

them feel

powerless,

by

not being

present

they

are unable to

quickly help or cherish their children.

Sadness and longing were also mentioned by the migrant parents'

"Only once

I

felt it...my

youngest

-

even the teacher spoke with her

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After

Migration

153 In the above quotation

of

a Portuguese father,

it

is possible

to

realize that

he

is

very

aware

of

the

consequences, because

he

has

already

experienced a similar situation personally.

"l

got to the conclusion that rny daughter was creating a set ofhabits.that

are... these habits that

I

think were influenced by my distance,

in

the distance between us, in the fact that I have been here as long as I've been"

(Angolan man living in Poltugal)

Parents also mention modifications regarding

the

parental authority

that is diminished by the distance. They reinforce the importance of being

present.

"Q: Do you think that the distance interferes with your authority with your

daughters?

A: Until now no, but at some point it will start to happen ..' because at this

stage they ...The authority ofthe ten years, is different from the authority offourteen, fifteen".

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

"Being present is very impottant. When it is missing you lose the authority,

is it not?"

(Angolan man living in Portugal)

rhis

chapter

r",

.":,:l::iilffiïÏ,,

"*"..,,"

orparenting at distance.

My

analysis based on the Angola/Portugal case shows that the

main effects reported by the migrant parents regarding the distance in their

parental relationship were emotional detachment, the loss

in

the decision-making, the loss of parental authority, and the lack

of

sharing of the daily

life-lack

of sharing of the small and the big moments of the child.

Transnational

parenting

practices

are

based

on

communication-parenting

by

Skype, especially

in

the Portuguese case and more recent

Angolan case. For most Angolan migrants residing

in

Porhrgal, parenting is done by phone; the parenting practices also include making visits to the home country or visits of the family to the host country. In this sample an

apparent

tendency

exists

for

the

Portuguese

to

carry

out

more

communications with the children and also to carry out a larger number

of

visits

to

the country

of

origin. Portuguese migrants

in

Angola are better

positioned

in

the labor

market

than most

of

the Angolan

migrants in

Portugal, and tend

to

have qualihed and better paid

jobs.

The economic class also influences the

way

migrants communicate

with

their families.

152 Chapter Seven

and she said she was sad; she was sad because she rnissed me.

I

was stunned, with my heart pouring blood."

(Portuguese man living in Angola) "When you are present it works another way, and when you're absent they think everything is also absent, so things do not go as it should be"

(Angolan man living in Portugal)

Regarding the effects

of

the distance on children, the distance

in

the

parental relationship has effects on

children-the

distance

of

the parents

affects the emotional well-being

of

children. Several parents repoft some

changes

in

their

children's behavior.

In

the following

quotes

from

the

interviews,

parents describe

some

of

those effects as difficulties

in

concentration and psycho-somatic disorders.

"He is a troubled kid, he's a kid that gets distracted very easily and also by the fact that I'm here, the kid...the kid has more need of attention"

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

"My

son went through a phase...and this has to do with the emotional paft...also by the fact that the father is not here...uh, every day his head ached... migraines, every day his head ached, then disappeared"

(Portuguese wife, paftner in Angola) Parents tend

to

consider that the distance brings differences

into

the

relationships---rreates _{emotional distance leading}

_to

_lack

_of

_emotional

proximity. One

of

the

interviews

mentioned regarding

the

parental

relationship between father and daughter:

"the close relationship he had with his daughter ... he always loved her, and

it

seems that all this was fading,

it

was creating a remoteness and..., and

this gap has been, it has been made effective."

(Portuguese wife, paftner in Angola)

Parents seem

to

be

aware

that

distance influences

the

relationship

befween them and the children.

"What

I

lose, effectively lose the sharing of space, emotions, everything else, lose the pleasure of being with my children...That is a bill that I

will

pay later is it not ...And I'm aware of it, because my dad is paying it with

mgt'

154 Chapter Seven

For

instance, most

of

the Angolans

do not

use

Sþpe

because families

back home have

no

computer, Internet,

or

the know-how

to

use

it.

The

culture

of

family organization also seems to have

effects-Angolans

have

extended

families that

end

up

being more

supportive and protective;

Portuguese tend

to

have nuclear families,

which

have

a lower

support

network, creating

a

greater need

for

migrants

to

monitor and support the

family.

ICT

assume great importance in the lives of most migrant parents, and are the way to stay in contact with their families.

For

some migrant parents there

is a

cooling

in

the relationship with

their children (i.e., an emotional detachment of children).

In

order to mitigate the distance they feel from their families, and ease the emotional wounds caused

by

their migratory project, migrant parents

tend to focus on migration objectives

in

order to endure the distance-they

reinforce

their

breadwinner

role giving

enhanced importance (especially

by sending remittances), parlicularly in the case of Portuguese men whose

migration to Angola assumes an economic character; or the importance

of

getting an education in the case of the Angolan man.

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